We're Moving!!

We are moving. April 1st we are PCSing from Tampa, Florida to San Antonio, Texas. We will be moving to Lackland AFB. We are looking forward to this move we have grown tired of Tampa Bay.  A new place. A new beginning. We like that idea.

During the next month I will be absent from the blogging world. I will update as soon as possible.

Later alligator!

A Conflict of the Hats...

Tonight was one of those nights where I felt so lost. Elora was doing just fine and dandy on our way to teach my ZUMBA class. When I arrived at the clubhouse, I parked the car and proceeded to unload. Just as I begin to unfasten Elora from the carseat she has this...explosive, exorcist sit-up...hat just won't stop. It was all down the front of her. It was on the carseat straps, buckles. It had seeped down into the cover and began dripping on to the mat thingy that protected the back seat from the carseat. I stood there for a moment trying to decide whether or not to cancel class. I knew I had new students and I didn't want to disappoint of leave a poor impression. A flaky impression. So I called a friend and asked her opinion. She gave me good advise and I then called another friend whom I knew would be on her way to class. This friend, I asked her to bring me a couple towels to sop up the mess and dry off the Zumba Baby.

I waited there by the car, waiting for the towels to arrive. I began to think about how it sucks that I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Here I am, trying to help and encourage other women to be fit and healthy, but also trying to be a good mother. What was the right choice. Cancelling the class and taking Elora Danan home? Staying to teach while hoping that she won't do that again in her pack'n'play? I took my friend's (a seasoned mother of 3) advise to stay and teach, but just to let them know that if it happens again I will have to cut the class short and I could credit them home the class. I know that I am a GREAT mother...but...I still have this fear that others will judge me an unfit mother for choosing to stay and teach. sigh.

I take my job seriously. I don't teach my Zumba Fitness classes for me, you know. I don't like crowds. I don't like being in front of folks. It scares the living hez out of me. Every class I am freaking out on the inside as I take the 'stage' and begin teaching. Even after 3 years! No, this is not for me. I believe deep in my heart that these women are special. That they deserve to be encouraged and helped. I care whether or not they attend a class... not for monetary reasons, but because I want to make sure that they never give up on their goals. That they never give up on themselves!

I'm sure someone out there is thinking...nanny, babysitter, daycare. Um...no. No. No! I am her caregiver. However, I appreciate and am EXTREMELY grateful for all help that is given me and I love my 'village' that helps me. My baby stays with me.

Golly, I really gotta get something to eat and then go to sleep...

New Year Resolution #2

Taking care of myself. Too often I put myself on the back burner. Aside from working out (its my job), I don't take care of myself. I put everything and everyone else before me. That's all fine and dandy, but there needs to be a balance. This year I have decided to start taking care of Lydia. Whether it's as elaborate as going for a mani/pedi or as simple as brushing my hair. This ties in with Resolution #1. I want to be a good example to Elora Danan. I want her to grow up understanding that she is valuable and special. It's important to consider oneself. If she sees mommy wearing the clothes she slept in and unwashed hair to the market to buy veggies, she will learn that this is acceptable. personal hygiene is not an option or choice. And one should not wear jammies to the store. So lazy!

I was never one to spend anytime on myself, but as I get older I'm beginning to actually like the way I look. I never gave it a thought before and MAN did it ever show. I'll dig up some pictures for a later entry. I'm nearing the big 30 and I'm not a little girl anymore. I may be at heart, but that's completely different. So Starting this year, whether I leave the house or not, I will shower and get ready for the day. Meaning, I will get dressed, brush my hair, and at least moisturize my face. Oh, and accessorize slightly.

Here's how I look today. This is my easy-running-errands-mommy-look. I'm wearing LOFT jeans, LOFT Booties, Basic V-neck Tee (I don't remember and there's no tag. lol), braided rope belt from Target, and Skrym earrings

New Year's Resolution #1

My first resolution for 2013 is to be the best mom I can possibly be to Elora. I will strive to only provide her with the very best nutrition. I promise to set forth a good example in all things in life. From eating right and working out to making the bed in the morning. Nothing is too great or too small. I promise to guide her and teach her how to become a well-rounded person. I will train her up according to the Bible. I promise to teach her about self worth, through taking care of myself (I am guilty of not caring for myself like I should).

The list is long, but I think you get the point. I just want her to grow up and excel. I am first and foremost her primary educator. I do not take this task lightly. Some may call me strict or mean. Some may call me paranoid or even the opposite, because I don't run to her and pick her up every time she whimpers or even cries. Finding the right balance is difficult. However God gave me instincts for a reason. He created women to be mothers. I know that I can and will do a good job.

I love this Hat. Motherhood. Love it.

This picture was the first time I danced with my daughter. Still brings tears to my eyes every time I see it.

Elora Danan 2 days old. Getting ready to leave the hospital.
02/26/12

Tooth #2 is coming in....

This teething situation..stinks...majorly. Elora's second tooth is beginning to rear is head. I wish they would all come in at once. I could really use the sleep. Baby has very low grade fever, crystal clear running nose, mucus-y cough (from all the drainage), and sneezing (allergies?). She is now regurgitating her meals. Not throwing up. She nurses. She coughs. She regurgitates all of it. Aside from all that she is super active, explores (gets into everything), and is very happy. She does have bouts of crankiness and crying when her incoming tooth is bothering her. I'm in for another rough day. Yesterday alone I was covered in the regurgitated breastmilk. Changed my clothes 3 times. This morning she got me in bed. I must now wash the bedding.

I really suck at blogging...

It’s difficult to be a woman in today’s world. Pretty much the same as years long before. Nothing has really changed. If you stay at home and play housewife and mom then you are old-fashioned and a slave. If you work outside the home and place your children in childcare, then you are not a good enough wife or mother. If you choose career and success over husband and children, then you are a shark.

I wonder where I am in all this. I’m a wife, SAHM, and I work outside of the home. I try to balance all the aspect of my lifestyle. Sometimes I choose motherhood and other times I choose job. I have to make choices I’d rather not at all. I feel passionate about my students and the service I provide as a fitness instructor. I feel equally passionate, on another level completely, about being the best mother I can be for my sweet Elora Danan.

I dabble in many things. I know who I am, but I still search myself sometimes. I’m guilty of changing my mind frequently. My likes and dislikes have swapped. I am told quite often that I’m ADD, although, I have never been diagnosed. Spacey is another word I have heard folks use to describe me. I make lists to writes list to get organized. I’m a hot mess, and yet I feel that my life has reason and order. I'm working on getting it together. I have few 'plans' that I'm trying to implement. Mainly, I just need to take one day at a time, accomplish one thing at a time, and then build on that. It sounds easy enough. In reality, I'm struggling to get started. I guess I'll go write a new list/plan...

The Military Wife Career Dilemma

It's very difficult for us to have 'careers' when we move every 2-4 years. We raise our children on our own 60-80% of the time. We may commit ourselves to things and end up backing out, because our husbands end up coming home to visit for the short time. We are stuck between a rock and a hard place. We join companies like Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Scentsy, and countless others for the simple fact that we can take it with us and 'work' just about anywhere on the planet. Our dreams and goals are put on hold while we stand by and follow our hero around the globe.

I'm sure that other wives feel the same way at times. I am not unreliable or flaky. I sure feel that way though! I hate having to chose; however it is not a difficult decision for me to make! After 8 years being military wife I have learned to 'work' around my husband's career. His job comes first. Somewhere along the way I get to do something I love!  Zumba® Fitness is a perfect job for me. Not only do I LOVE teaching, but it's something I can take with me anywhere I go next.

I enjoy helping others. I love to serve others. I want to go out of my way to ensure someone else's success and well-being before my own. I've always been this way and I will never be able to change. My love language is Acts of Services. If i didn't need a job, I would teach for FREE. And I do need the moolah! It's hard to keep going sometimes. I often feel alone and outside. I  know that there are those who are there for me. I appreciate them. I am grateful. I am moved to tears. Despite those who are only out for themselves - those who bulldoze over others - I am thankful to those who help me to keep going!

All in all, I love that I found something that feeds my heart's desire! I love my students. I love helping others. I am a servant and I will serve ALWAYS!

Infant Massage...hmm

This is Elora's and my second week going to an Infant Massage class on base. It's a free class - I'm all about the free! I'm not too sure Elora is very interested right now. Both times she wiggled all over the place. I spent more time trying to get her back on her back instead of listening to the instructor and practicing on my baby. I'm glad they gave us handouts on the different techniques and what not. The point of these classes is not so much to learn to massage my 6 month old but more so to socialize my infant and get the heck out of the house. I am so content to stay home alone with my precious baby everyday. However, being a recluse is probably not the best way to help Elora become socially apt. My hope is that Elora will begin to like it and stay still one day. Right now she is in her exploration stage, because she is finally able to move about on her own.

I guess I should probably talk about the benefits of Infant Massage, blah blah blah...but that requires research and I'm out of time right now. I'll follow up later on the subject. I gotta go to St. Pete for a BBQ at one of Eric's co-worker's house. I have to put on my try-not-to-be-so-darn-weird-and-geeky hat. I have a baby now so I really gotta talk to the females. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before...Females make me uncomfortable. I never know what to talk about. I don't enjoy most of the topics they chose. BUT I have a kid now, so I'm expected to be all motherly and talk about stuff. I feel that it ends up being a competition. Well, my baby is only 8 months and she does this. But my baby is better, because it spits up all the time. Well, yours isn't nearly as advanced as mine, because my child does this or the other.

I'm going to be standing there quietly thinking about Dark Siders II and how I can't wait to get home to play. There's also a Zumba Core Demo I downloaded and want to try it out. Skyrim...I haven't played in forever. I need to test out the dragon shouts using the Kinect. I'm still kinda sore that tomorrow is Hobbit Day and no one wanted to have a Hobbit Day Party with me. I'm still gonna dress Elora up as a baby Hobbit and take pictures...OH SHE'LL LOOK SO DARN CUTE!!! Maybe Eric will let me get away with it. I doubt it though. He's such a party pooper.

*Sorry for grammatical errors and what not. Typing with a baby in your lap who is so eager to help you by slapping at random keys can make blogging quite a challenge. I do try to use spell check and read before posting. I still miss things though.

I get to be a wife for 30 something days...Yay!

I don't get to be a wife often. Well, in the sense that I would cook and clean for my husband. He's gone often and I still cook and clean on occasion, but, you know, it's different. Eric has been home for week now. It's been great. I make him lunches, wash his socks, help pick out his ties, train him at the crack of dawn, and  all sorts of wifey type things. My favorite thing is laughing. When Eric and I are together, we are on the same wavelength humor wise. We spend all day cracking jokes and saying witty remarks to each other. It's great!

My goal this month that I have with him is to train him and feed him accordingly to his goals. I cook every meal fresh and I try to hide veggies in the meals so that he'll eat them. He's a very picky eater. Another goal is to make sure when he comes home every evening, he has all the quality time with Elora Danan he can get before her bed time. So far I think I'm doing a fair job.

I miss him terribly when he's away. He'll be going away VERY SOON. I have to get months of laughing in before he's gone again.

My Geek Hat

I'm a geek. I don't show it often and it's hard for me to find other females with similar interests. Mostly guys know what I'm quoting or when I refer to Hobbit Day or Skyrim. I need geeky girl friends. I want to throw a Hobbit Day Party but I am quiet certain that most of my friends have no idea what I'm talking about and will mostly not feel inclined to attend. I enjoy C. S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia and The Space Trilogy; J. R. R. Tolkien's The Hobbit and LOTR Trilogy; video games; Willow; Dune; Star Wars; etc...I don't really have anyone to talk to and geek out with. Eric likes them, but no where near to the extent that I do. MY brother was awesome to talk to when he lived with us for a bit. But, alas, he has moved away and got married. I never see him. I miss my family!

This blog is about my many hats and how I attempt to juggle the different areas in my life; therefore I may open up about it more. Not sure. Maybe.