Saturday, November 3, 2012

I really suck at blogging...

It’s difficult to be a woman in today’s world. Pretty much the same as years long before. Nothing has really changed. If you stay at home and play housewife and mom then you are old-fashioned and a slave. If you work outside the home and place your children in childcare, then you are not a good enough wife or mother. If you choose career and success over husband and children, then you are a shark.

I wonder where I am in all this. I’m a wife, SAHM, and I work outside of the home. I try to balance all the aspect of my lifestyle. Sometimes I choose motherhood and other times I choose job. I have to make choices I’d rather not at all. I feel passionate about my students and the service I provide as a fitness instructor. I feel equally passionate, on another level completely, about being the best mother I can be for my sweet Elora Danan.

I dabble in many things. I know who I am, but I still search myself sometimes. I’m guilty of changing my mind frequently. My likes and dislikes have swapped. I am told quite often that I’m ADD, although, I have never been diagnosed. Spacey is another word I have heard folks use to describe me. I make lists to writes list to get organized. I’m a hot mess, and yet I feel that my life has reason and order. I'm working on getting it together. I have few 'plans' that I'm trying to implement. Mainly, I just need to take one day at a time, accomplish one thing at a time, and then build on that. It sounds easy enough. In reality, I'm struggling to get started. I guess I'll go write a new list/plan...