Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A Conflict of the Hats...

Tonight was one of those nights where I felt so lost. Elora was doing just fine and dandy on our way to teach my ZUMBA class. When I arrived at the clubhouse, I parked the car and proceeded to unload. Just as I begin to unfasten Elora from the carseat she has this...explosive, exorcist sit-up...hat just won't stop. It was all down the front of her. It was on the carseat straps, buckles. It had seeped down into the cover and began dripping on to the mat thingy that protected the back seat from the carseat. I stood there for a moment trying to decide whether or not to cancel class. I knew I had new students and I didn't want to disappoint of leave a poor impression. A flaky impression. So I called a friend and asked her opinion. She gave me good advise and I then called another friend whom I knew would be on her way to class. This friend, I asked her to bring me a couple towels to sop up the mess and dry off the Zumba Baby.


I waited there by the car, waiting for the towels to arrive. I began to think about how it sucks that I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Here I am, trying to help and encourage other women to be fit and healthy, but also trying to be a good mother. What was the right choice. Cancelling the class and taking Elora Danan home? Staying to teach while hoping that she won't do that again in her pack'n'play? I took my friend's (a seasoned mother of 3) advise to stay and teach, but just to let them know that if it happens again I will have to cut the class short and I could credit them home the class. I know that I am a GREAT mother...but...I still have this fear that others will judge me an unfit mother for choosing to stay and teach. sigh.

I take my job seriously. I don't teach my Zumba Fitness classes for me, you know. I don't like crowds. I don't like being in front of folks. It scares the living hez out of me. Every class I am freaking out on the inside as I take the 'stage' and begin teaching. Even after 3 years! No, this is not for me. I believe deep in my heart that these women are special. That they deserve to be encouraged and helped. I care whether or not they attend a class... not for monetary reasons, but because I want to make sure that they never give up on their goals. That they never give up on themselves!

I'm sure someone out there is thinking...nanny, babysitter, daycare. Um...no. No. No! I am her caregiver. However, I appreciate and am EXTREMELY grateful for all help that is given me and I love my 'village' that helps me. My baby stays with me.

Golly, I really gotta get something to eat and then go to sleep...

Monday, January 7, 2013

New Year Resolution #2

Taking care of myself. Too often I put myself on the back burner. Aside from working out (its my job), I don't take care of myself. I put everything and everyone else before me. That's all fine and dandy, but there needs to be a balance. This year I have decided to start taking care of Lydia. Whether it's as elaborate as going for a mani/pedi or as simple as brushing my hair. This ties in with Resolution #1. I want to be a good example to Elora Danan. I want her to grow up understanding that she is valuable and special. It's important to consider oneself. If she sees mommy wearing the clothes she slept in and unwashed hair to the market to buy veggies, she will learn that this is acceptable. personal hygiene is not an option or choice. And one should not wear jammies to the store. So lazy!

I was never one to spend anytime on myself, but as I get older I'm beginning to actually like the way I look. I never gave it a thought before and MAN did it ever show. I'll dig up some pictures for a later entry. I'm nearing the big 30 and I'm not a little girl anymore. I may be at heart, but that's completely different. So Starting this year, whether I leave the house or not, I will shower and get ready for the day. Meaning, I will get dressed, brush my hair, and at least moisturize my face. Oh, and accessorize slightly.

Here's how I look today. This is my easy-running-errands-mommy-look. I'm wearing LOFT jeans, LOFT Booties, Basic V-neck Tee (I don't remember and there's no tag. lol), braided rope belt from Target, and Skrym earrings







New Year's Resolution #1

My first resolution for 2013 is to be the best mom I can possibly be to Elora. I will strive to only provide her with the very best nutrition. I promise to set forth a good example in all things in life. From eating right and working out to making the bed in the morning. Nothing is too great or too small. I promise to guide her and teach her how to become a well-rounded person. I will train her up according to the Bible. I promise to teach her about self worth, through taking care of myself (I am guilty of not caring for myself like I should).

The list is long, but I think you get the point. I just want her to grow up and excel. I am first and foremost her primary educator. I do not take this task lightly. Some may call me strict or mean. Some may call me paranoid or even the opposite, because I don't run to her and pick her up every time she whimpers or even cries. Finding the right balance is difficult. However God gave me instincts for a reason. He created women to be mothers. I know that I can and will do a good job.

I love this Hat. Motherhood. Love it.

This picture was the first time I danced with my daughter. Still brings tears to my eyes every time I see it.

Elora Danan 2 days old. Getting ready to leave the hospital.
02/26/12

Tooth #2 is coming in....

This teething situation..stinks...majorly. Elora's second tooth is beginning to rear is head. I wish they would all come in at once. I could really use the sleep. Baby has very low grade fever, crystal clear running nose, mucus-y cough (from all the drainage), and sneezing (allergies?). She is now regurgitating her meals. Not throwing up. She nurses. She coughs. She regurgitates all of it. Aside from all that she is super active, explores (gets into everything), and is very happy. She does have bouts of crankiness and crying when her incoming tooth is bothering her. I'm in for another rough day. Yesterday alone I was covered in the regurgitated breastmilk. Changed my clothes 3 times. This morning she got me in bed. I must now wash the bedding.