Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Am I doing too much?

For the past seven weeks I have been functioning, quite inefficiently I might add, on a mere two to three, if I'm lucky, hours of sleep a night. My dearest mother was a great help while she was here visiting, alas she has gone home and I am left to this challenge on my own. My husband does much to help me, as did my mom; however, there are certain things they just couldn't do in my place. However, a great help they had/have been. While visiting, Mom helped with cooking, household chores, LAUNDRY, grocery shopping, entertaining a toddler, and pretty much making sure I didn't go insane. Her visit was far too short.

The endless laundry....
My husband helps with what he can with his limited time. He changes diapers whenever he's home. He starts laundry or transfers or folds or puts away, whichever happens to be left to be completed. He loads and unloads the dishwasher. He'll watch the girls so I can shower on some evenings or while I'm away teaching my Zumba® Fitness classes. Once in a great while he'll make dinner if I was unable to get it started before I leave to my class. He is solely in charge of El's bedtime routine. Bath, lotion, brushing teeth, bedtime story, prayers, all of it. There are other little things he does - prepare diaper bag, stuff cloth diapers, bring me coffee or food because he knows I put everything else before myself, etc... He's magnificent. Best of all? He never tells me that he shouldn't be doing these things because he's not the mother. That kinda thinking and attitude seriously irks me. So, blessed he doesn't think or act that way.

God bless this man!
Even with the occasional/limited help so lovingly and graciously given by my love, I am still exhausted. I have no real complaints really. I choose to breastfeed exclusively. I choose to co-sleep. I choose to use cloth diapers. I choose to work outside the home. I enjoy being involved and helping others. I enjoy contributing to causes and church and social clubs. Sometimes, okay, a lot of times, I hear from others that I should slow down. Stop adding more to my plate. Statements like that. Well, I know I have my hands full right now. I know I am struggling to keep up with my responsibilities. I am behind. I am forgetting. I am unable to complete new songs for my Zumba® Fitness class. I am unable to spend one uninterrupted hour making a couple flyers. I've been writing this post for a week now. It's frustrating really.

Let's see. What do I do? I'm a wife first and foremost. I try to be there for my husband in every way he needs. Friend, confidant, cheerleader, etc. Secondly I am a mother of a 2 year old and a 7 week old. I breastfeed exclusively, cloth diaper, attempt to cook every meal from scratch and clean/whole/real food as I attempt to move us away from all foods processed, and the dreaded domestic chores, bleh. Aside from home life and responsibilities I have committed to MOPS, LESC, being a Key Spouse, and being involved with my church. These things I have chosen to do. Made commitments. Lastly I chose to work outside the home as a personal trainer and a Zumba Fitness instructor. I love helping others.

Balance. Time management. I am a stranger to these concepts right now. I have been working on finding that rhythm to my new life as a mommy of 2. I'll get there. I don't think I do too much. I honestly think it's a matter of organization, motivation, a feeling of being overwhelmed, and being exhausted. With proper sleep and an attitude adjustment, I'm certain to catch up and do better. I'm stubborn and pigheaded. I don't give up easy or ever... that can be a bad thing. I know there is a solution to everything, I just haven't found them all, and try different approaches if the prior doesn't pan out. I can be annoyingly resilient.

The toddler years bring on new and challenging adventures.
My hats aren't fitting to well lately. I am certainly overwhelmed, but I wouldn't say that I'm stressed. I think there is a difference. With lots of prayer and with God's grace I got this!

Oh, and LOTS of coffee....

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